February 8, 2008

• Successful Ventures into the Civilized World and back into the Beloved Forest Sanctuary

  My anxiety levels in general have been much lower in recent weeks, raising my HSP threshold for overstimulation, inspiring me to venture beyond my hermitage in recent weeks.  This positive shift in my mental comfort level has made it much easier and much more pleasant for me to visit that strange realm of places populated by more humans than trees.  I have been sober 13 years but in recent years had basically given up on AA meetings because my heightened sensitivity and anxiety had made such gatherings, once comforting, become painful.  Ironically, I had also given up on yoga classes for the same reason, as proximity to others’ energies shifted from neutral or beneficial to disruptive or upsetting for me.  But, in recent weeks I have been driving into the city on Tuesdays to attend first a yoga class at the YMCA (complete with luxurious hot shower) and then to an AA meeting.  Much to my delight, I am once again experiencing yoga class and AA as beneficial and positive!  And, in the AA meeting I had a happy reunion with an old friend from AA in Florida who unbeknownst to me had also moved here to Missouri!  
  
  Not only have I had these successful forays out from my beloved sanctuary, but mental fog, angst, and depressed mood have also been keeping their distance recently which feels undescribably wonderful.  I continue to spend significant amounts of time out in the forest here each day no matter the weather and it has been such a sensuous delight.  We have had days in the 70′s interspersed that felt like early summer among cold snaps producing those glorious ice formations and an unusual but delightful 4″ snowfall.  Today I think it got into the 50′s, and very heavy rains from earlier this week had swollen the springs so that they gushed  generously forth, creating a magical babbling brook sound in the creekbed below.  It is always a miracle to me to see running water emanating from a bank of soil and rock.  Today May and I went to the site of the previously frozen waterfall and enjoyed the sound of water falling to the stone basin below while lying upon the soft breast of the earth warmed by the rays of the sun.  Birdsong and woodpeckers drumming and wind through the treetops were pleasant accompanied the sounds of moving water.  I lay on my stomach with my cheek on the earth and soaked in the earthy clean smell of the soil and fallen leaves and the sight of gloriously varied textures and colors of many types of moss and lichen just inches away from my face.  I feel endless gratitude at being able to be so fully embraced by mother earth.

  • 12:10 am
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