January 9, 2009

• Holiday Season 2008/2009

  I am very grateful to have joyfully celebrated the winter holidays this year with my sweetheart M and our families, as well as having had a nice visit with my best friend and a happy reunion with two dear friends from high school.  M and I had a wonderful visit over Thanksgiving in Rochester NY with my parents on Lake Ontario, a refreshing ecospiritual celebration of Winter Solstice with friends in W NC, a nice holiday lunch together with all of our parents, a great Christmas with her family at Emerald Isle NC, and for New Years a delightful dance on the Eve and beautiful hike on the Day.  The final celebration of the season was more bittersweet: a ritual to honor the life of my beloved dog who died this week, a memorial celebration which encompassed tremendous joy but also very deep sorrow.

  Over five of the last seven years with my dog May, I have had scattered but significant trouble with her behaving aggressively with others.  It has been a difficult thing to grapple with since she was always so extremely gentle and loving with me, as with many others, and I didn’t always perceive or forsee her triggers.  A couple weeks ago she had another aggressive episode which particularly terrified me.  Since then, I consulted with a veterinarian and my conscience, and made the difficult and painful decision to have May euthanized to prevent additional danger/harm.

  I did this with a very heavy heart and I am open to any prayers or compassionate thoughts you might be able to spare for us both.  I’m attaching a photo of us from a happier day, and taking comfort in the fact that I got to take May on lots of nice long hikes and spend lots of time cuddling with her in her final week.  Her actual passing was as loving and peaceful a process as I could have ever dared hope for.  I am also attaching here a tribute which M helped me write and share with May prior to her death.  Thank you all for sharing in the joy we have had as well as the sorrow.

  
  

  Tribute to May in honor of her final journey here Wednesday January 7, 2009

   

  Dearest May, you are strikingly gentle and strong, sensitive and cheerful, loyal and loving.  Your eyes, such a deep chestnut brown, are so soulful, and so soothing to gaze into.  Your coat is so smooth and soft.  You have brought great comfort, hope, and joy into our lives.  Though not always gentle with others, you have been so full of gentleness, compassion, and care for Cath; you have been very protective of her and helpful to her.

   

  You have appreciated the simple things of life with the deepest of pleasure: bathing in pools of sunlight, wading through pools of water and especially submerging your face, watching the crayfish in the river, long walks in the woods, sitting quietly in nature and absorbing the sensory delights; finding persimmons by the cabin, pawpaws by the river, carrots in the garden to eat; chewing rawhide bones by the woodstove; letting Abie lick your face and cuddling close with Cath.  You have shared Cath’s sanctuary and sense of sacredness at Sweetwater at the river, the cabin, the springs, the garden, and the trails you helped Cath to create in the forest.  For all of this, Cath is grateful to you.  

   

  While Cath has given you the love and care you needed, you helped in a very critical time to keep meaning and joy in her life during a part of her journey when life for her had become traumatic and disorienting.  Thanks to love for you, Cath remained fully committed to caring for you when she lost the will to care for herself and so carried on.  Your gentleness and affection toward her and your enthusiasm for life gave her hope.  You helped inspire her to create a new paradigm for a life outside the box — close to soul and nature — enabling her spirit to heal and grow in encouraging new directions.

   

  I’m so glad for the day when Cath found you. I believe that you two were meant to be together, and that you have brought each other peace and comfort, joy and happiness.  Because of Cath, you have been well cared for with great tenderness and compassion.  And, you helped Cath remember she was able to care for others even when she felt lost and alone.  Cath is deeply extremely grateful to you for the many gifts you have brought to her life.  You two have had seven loving years of supporting each other.  The quality of your time together has had an infinitely greater value than you both might yet know.

   

  I don’t understand all of the factors that have brought out your aggression.  I am sure that you act in ways you feel you need to in order to stay safe, even though in the long run it is not safe for you or for those around you.  But, your aggressive behaviors have in no way diminished the beautiful and loving creature that you are.  And though your life is perhaps being cut short prematurely, all aspects of your loving energy and all of your full wildness will now be free beyond the constraints of this manifestation of life.

   

  There are no muzzles where you are going, and no threats, and no upsetting intrusions.

  There it is full of freedom, safety, peace, and love.  Your body will return to nourish the earth and the waters and the verdant forests you love.  Your spirit will visit more sacred rivers and forest sanctuaries and continue to appreciate and enjoy all the wonders of nature you and Cath and Melanie all love so deeply.

   

  We will remember you, May, with affection, respect, and gratitude.

  You are a part of us, and you always will be.

  We love you, May.

   

  –M and Cath

   

  • 1:46 pm
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